Delayed Review – Logan

So I know I’m super later in the game but I JUST saw Logan on July 4th. While I have always loved Wolverine as a character and also thoroughly enjoy Hugh Jackman as Logan, this movie wasn’t necessarily in my MUST WATCH NOW list. I am indeed a Marvel fan girl (I’m sure most of you know that by now) but we know this movie is Marvel but not really Marvel.

Either way it was the final “superhero movie” that was left to be seen on my list. So we decided to give it a go. I had been told by several fans and friends that they LOVED the movie, with only a handful of people who cocked an eye and said, “I’ll wait til you see it so we can discuss it”. It left me in a weird place when it came to expectations; A part of me expected to be floored with cinematic genius and the other went in feeling like my friends knew I was going to hate it and that I was going to troll all the Logan Lovers.

Since this movie has been out a while I’m not going to do the usual movie review and get into the specifics of the plot or a summary of the story. I’m going to just talk to you guys like you were in my living room and figure that if you are in my living room you’ve already seen it and that I don’t need to bore you with details. Just strictly my opinion, score and my reasons why.

So I’m going to start off by telling you my rating. On a rating scale of 1-10, 1 being abysmal and 10 being movie epicness, I give Logan…..a 3.

That’s right I said it.

I give this movie a generous 3. I know most of you reading this right now are asking yourself WTF?! But give me a moment to explain myself and then you can come at me.

The beginning of the end – Where do I even start really. See this movie started off with potential. The concept of it was great but its execution was a failure. The pacing of the entire movie was disjointed. I know, I know, this wasn’t your typical action Superhero movie. Trust me when I say sometimes I want less of the action and more of the story. Except…well except in this case, because even the story was lacking for me. First, the pacing made it so that I actually felt how long I had been sitting waiting for some sort of entertainment to come forth. The movie has a run time of 2hours and 17 minutes. At 1hr and 10minutes, I was wondering if we were near the end. I know this because I paused the movie to see how much longer we had and nearly fainted when I noticed that I still had another half of the movie to go. And while I don’t always need action, something needs to catch my attention. Sadly, the only 2 characters that were able to do that when they were on screen were Professor X and X-23.

Oh Logan, Logan, LOGAN. I don’t know what was going on with Hugh Jackman or maybe it was Mangold’s fault but the acting seemed forced several times. I felt as if Hugh Jackman wasn’t always on board or clear on some of the character choices or arc that they were giving him, so he was forced to reach some emotional places he may have not believed in. Or, which happens often, he just had a crazy director that really didn’t understand where this character should go or see when he was forcing something out of an actor. Either way, he was off. Not the entire movie but for a good portion of it. That entire scene where Logan is talking to X-23 about why he can’t be a father seemed like something I would watch on a TelaNovela. It was cringe worthy. Like, I literally felt embarrassed for Hugh Jackman just watching it. The entire chemistry of Logan and Laura was missing with the exception of the last 12 minutes or so of the movie.

You get a plot hole, you get a plot hole, EVERY ONE gets a plot hole: Seriously…I want you all to think of this movie and every X-men movie that has been released and then look me in the eye and tell me there weren’t some serious plot holes in this movie. I won’t even go over every single one of them but being a huge fan of Days of Future Past…I’m confused. We now get a Logan who is still filled to the brim with guilt. Is it the same guilt that drove him in The Wolverine ? Well that was because he killed Jean Grey…oh but then came Days of Futures Past and we have Jean again. Does history repeat itself even though it’s been changed? Is he feeling guilty about some other typical Wolverine stuff? We won’t know! Because again it was missing in this movie. Then there’s a bullet that in one movie only brings on memory loss and in this movie can completely kill him.

We’re on a boat! – Ok so this Yacht thing is like a big thing for Logan and Professor X. It’s a symbolic thing and blah blah blah. But really? He’s so afraid and turnt up about Professor X and what damage he could possibly do but he’s just going to leave him alone with twiddle dee (Caliban) for a week so he can go on some goose chase for Gabriella? I’m sorry, I don’t buy it. I know it was meant to push the plot forward but it was a weak choice.

Speaking of Caliban – Was he really that necessary? I mean, were Logan, Charles and Laura really that hard to find? I saw what was coming with that character from his introduction.

Donald Pierce – A hot head with a cool mechanical arm. You would think that he would’ve been a bigger threat than he actually was. It was almost a waste to have built up this unknown character at the beginning, constantly see him working on or with his hand and then it all just falls flat. And don’t even get me started on how ultimately useless Dr. Rice was for this movie.

Let’s set you up to just let you down: Ugh, so many setups yet so few answers.  What the hell did Professor X do in the “Westchester Incident”? Seriously? I mean don’t get me wrong, a senile Professor X was absolutely hilarious to see and honestly one of my favorite aspects of the entire movie, but why? Why is it all happening? What happened? Where is everyone? We get none of that. While I understand some of you stating that this movie was focused on Logan not the X-men, a little more explanation would’ve gone a long way. If it’s a big enough event that Logan is drugging Professor X and keeping him contained, it’s worth a few minutes of explanation.

Sick much? – Ok, from the very beginning of the movie we know that something is seriously wrong with Logan. We hear enough characters and it mentioned enough that he is “sick” that something inside of him is killing him. But if you aren’t paying close attention you’ll actually miss what it is because it was delivered in this half ass throwaway line. The fact that the metal was killing him could’ve been a driving force for Logan. It would’ve also done better with showing and amping up just how much Logan was sacrificing and putting himself thru every time he used his claws.

Eden…but oh Canada? – Eden was a huge goal point for everyone but for what reason when it really was about reaching Canada. It was a weird thing to add. And then it was played in such a way that you knew what the result of Eden was going to be. Seriously this Mangold does a terrible job at hinting at things. He just wants to give it all to you so you can be pat yourself on the back 20 minutes later and say “I knew that was going to happen”.

Soundtrack – There were about three or four times during the movie I thought someone’s cell phone was ringing or playing some sort of game. It was weird music during otherwise decent scenes. The only song worth any was Johnny Cash and it had little to do with the movie all to do with the fact that I like Johnny Cash.

I now realize how much I’ve typed about this movie and I feel a little like our friend Josh Silverman with his rant on Batman v Superman. So I will not go any further. I’m sorry Logan fans, but this movie was just horrible to me. It got 3 stars because of X-23, Professor X and because I didn’t have to pay for a movie ticket to see it. The fact that I was able to sit in the comfort of my own home and pause it for mental anguish breaks was the only reason it didn’t get a lower score.

I love Hugh Jackman and I love Wolverine but it seems that it is completely impossible to give this character a movie that does it justice. I was as bored with this film as I was with Thor. Hell, I’ll pay to watch Suicide Squad again before sitting another 2 hours and 17 minutes of this movie.

P.S. DO THE KIDS MAKE IT IN THE END OR NOT? It was the entire driving force and we don’t even get a solution!! Ugh sorry, just had to add that one in here.


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