The End is Nigh? X-Men Apocalypse

Dear Brian Singer,
Just.Stop.It.

Would be the introduction to a strongly worded letter from me to Mr. Singer and 20th Century Fox. (cc:Stan Lee Bcc: Jennifer Lawrence, just because)

First things first, Hi there. Hello.

Screen Shot 2015-12-11 at 11.39.12 AM.png

Did you see the new X-men Trailer?
I mean, it’s only been on every page known to geek man since this morning…

X_Men_Apocalypse_91097

Here it is, in case you missed it or would like to relive the Singer Saga teaser over and over and over again…

I hear you, you’re asking “Wait.. Didn’t you like the trailer?”
So, we’re going into this quickly eh? Ok. Here’s my two cents.

Meh. 

tumblr_na4ohqq4Ed1r2c5kao9_1280

Don’t get me wrong. I’m ECSTATIC because I love X-men. I’m all about the Marvel Mutants. OH I’m sorry, Fox Mutants… However, this is a step down from the greatness that was is Days of Future Past. Don’t you think?

Let’s start with the opening scene. Young Jean Gray, frazzled, describing her vision/dream/vision/dream? “I saw the end of the world… I could feel all this… Death.” Cue Ominous pillow…

Screen Shot 2015-12-11 at 11.18.19 AM.png

Cut to some introductory scenes, oh look there’s… that one and that one, and that one in yellow… And then…. that voice? Is it… Apocalypse?

x4hmxv.jpg

No, no.. no, silly goose. That IS indeed Apocalypse, with more of a violet hue. A Thanos & Mr. Freeze baby child, Grape head… .. if you will…?

xmen1

Creepy voice? Nope. He’s a regular purple guy lookin’ for god love  in all the wrong places. (Let’s not confuse him with the dashing Killgrave Purple Man… I won’t insert a photo lest I take away X-men’s thunder here.)

Anyhow… Long story short, like the anti-climactic post this is, that’s exactly how the trailer left me. Empty.

EXCITED! I repeat: I love X-men. But Empty.

With nods to the 4 horsemen references of the (wait for it…) Apocalypse, the religious jargon (that makes any geek like me who LOVES a good end of the world film/book/comic/song…), Jennifer Lawrence, Xavier revealed in his egghead GLORY, Jennifer Lawrence, explosions, MORE X-men mutant reveals than we can handle, AND JENNIFER LAWRENCE…

I am STILL HUNGRY. Yes it’s the first trailer, I know. I know. There’s time for more… but… BAH. I’m going to watch X-men: DOFP again while I cry and hold my own hand.
What did YOU think?

Bleep. Bleep.

BTW. Here’s the Cast:
Jennifer Lawrence. That is all.

 

fox-superheroes

Starring JLAW and everyone else.

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s